Forgiveness

When someone hurts you, forgiveness might be the last thing you think you're capable of.  We've ALL been there.  We've had wounds inflicted on us that might be incomprehensible for another human being to do.  Sometimes when you are so hurt and broken inside, it seems natural to be angry and bitter and remain broken over what happened and think that if you make a choice to forgive them, then you're saying it's ok that they hurt you.  I know I've carried specific people all my life around - because I never could imagine being free from them because they hurt such a deep part of my heart.

Then I began been thinking about who was receiving that hurt within the boundary of today - was it hurting them?  Likely not.
Was I being continually hurt by those who went against everything God says about love and respect?

Yes.

The reality is that those hurts ended a long time ago - but inside, they echoed more than they should.

Do you feel a nudge within you? 
Feel something similar?

Different situation, perhaps - but do your hurts echo within you?

I heard an analogy awhile back that "clicked" - and what I read today only affirms it. When you hold onto someone who hurts you, it's like you are handcuffed to them - they are always with you, dragging you, holding you down.  That bond is stronger than steel - and it's not a positive bond to have (let me tell you, I know!).

When you forgive them, you unlock *your* handcuff.  Not theirs.

 Then you hand the handcuffs to God.

 You may think that "if you let them go, they'll get away with how they hurt you!" - but remember that everyone will stand before Him and have to account for their actions in life.  We have a just and loving  Father in Heaven who we need to trust to take that burden, that disappointment, that betrayal and give it to Him and trust that He can handle it.

He is a BIG God. 

Look at the amazing sunset He created tonight, in Dallas.

How can you see a sight like that and not stop in your tracks and realize how BIG God is?  And surely if God can create such majesty, He can right the wrongs and fill in the cracks of your soul?

You don't heal in order to forgive; you forgive in order to heal. 

And let me tell you.  A few months ago, I sat in a room and declared who I forgave out loud - I heard my voice say it and I realized that my voice had as much conviction as the finality my life experienced when I was first hurt.  Truthfully though, guess what was more powerful?  My voice.

I wish I could write here and have it be a final testament that I will always be okay with the journeys my life has taken me. Some days I have reminders of what I forgave and it's hard.  But it's harder living life locked down and chained to what hurt you.  I'm closing this with one of the most profound passages I've ever read about forgiveness and I pray it blesses you, too.

“Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person's throat......Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their mind and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established. Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation. Forgiveness does not excuse anything.  You may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for his wholeness......”

― William P. Young, The Shack